O- Organizing
Dreams of being a minimalist
When I was a child, I don't remember thinking that I owned too many things.  I don't remember ever questioning why we would need to keep something or what it's particular purpose was or what value it possessed.  In fact, I remember thinking the opposite, such as "why would I get rid of that?", or "what reason would I possibly have for wanting to part with that valuable item?" We were not hoarders, by any means.  Our house was neat and tidy, and most of our belongings were either displayed neatly on shelves or mantles or appropriately stowed away in cupboards, closets, pantries, bins, on shelves, and so forth.  We lived in an average-sized home with a garage, and we filled this home, not too full, but full enough, with our belongings.  This was normal, this was what everyone did, and still does, I told myself. 

Then, about two years ago, my husband, my young child and I  moved into a larger home. At first, we felt like our house had so much space that we would never be able to fill it.  Now, two years later and one additional child, not only have we been able to fill up all of the rooms in the house, but some of the rooms are overflowing, and the 3-car garage seems barely able to hold our three cars in addition to all of the bikes, strollers, boxes, lawn care equipment, tools, etc. Most weekdays, I would guess we spend about two hours out of our short five waking hours at home (partially or fully) consumed by physically maintaining order of all of our "stuff" (putting shoes in the closet, hanging up coats, putting toys in toy bins, folding laundry, putting away dishes, putting away food after dinner, opening the mail, putting away food, putting things back where they belong, etc.)  Even with this daily maintenance of our belongings, we still find that we have to put aside extra time on the weekends to do a more thorough organization of areas that have been neglected with piled up clutter.  For example, over the last several months, the office has become the dumping ground for everything without an established home- like new toys for our child's birthday, mail that hasn't been filed, pictures that haven't been hung,loose photographs, stickers, art supplies, birthday cards, etc.  We spent about an hour just going through this "stuff" and throwing things away and organizing the rest.

So when does it become too much?  How does each person decide what is the appropriate amount of belongings that they should own?  Is there an actual number that people decide on, or do we just visually judge based on if our drawers and closets are bulging at the seams?  Or if we can never find anything we are looking for because we have to wade through 300 things that we are not looking for first?  I suppose this is different for every person, and I also venture to guess that this "amount of appropriate stuff" changes for each person through different stages of their life.  I know it has for me.  When I was younger, I almost feel like I measured my happiness and value (on a very small scale) based on how much I had.  If I got more presents, I felt more loved.  If I had more clothes, I felt more stylish and cool.  If I had more books and school supplies, I felt smarter and more prepared.  I don't remember it reaching a point where it was too much until after I was married.  In our case, we both lived separately before marriage, so in essence, we combined two households, plus we acquired probably 100 new belongings as a result of our wedding gifts.  Then, when we had children, we acquired hundreds more belongings before our first child was even born.  Now with two children, I can't even guess how many belongings we have acquired that are directly related to our children (individual pieces of clothing, toys, crib, swing, towels, wash clothes, bottles, baby spoons, books, pacifiers, diapers, diaper wipes, diaper bags, car seats, strollers, baby carries, high chair, booster chair, pack-and-play, books, stuffed animals, bath toys, etc.)  If I did have to guess how many individual items we own that are related to our children (not including diapers and wipes, but including pairs of shoes pairs of socks and individual pieces of clothing), I would guess 1,500, but I could be way off.  If you include every individual toy (like individual big-block-lego and individual pieces of plastic food for our pretend kitchen), we could have 1,500 pieces of toys alone. 

Let me be clear, I am very lucky and blessed to be able to provide such things for my family.  I am very grateful for all of the things that other people have given to me and my children as gifts, as many of these things have become cherished belongings and will always have great memories attached to them. Also, it would be very expensive to have to purchase all of the clothes for my growing children myself, and I would say at least 75% of all of our children's clothes came to us as new or slightly-used gifts.  So thank you everyone for your generosity.  Now, that being said, it is my responsibility to manage my belongings and make sure that they do not overtake my life.  It is my job as a parent to teach my children that "more" doesn't necessarily mean "better" and that having belongings does not make you happy (especially if you spend more time cleaning and organizing them than you do actually enjoying them). It is my hope to teach my children that belongings should, in the words of Marie Kondo, "bring us joy".  They should serve a direct purpose, or be tied to a specific and clear emotional need, and that if they don't, they should be passed on to another being who can make good use of them.  

I know that I need to take action soon to begin my journey toward minimalism.  I don't know that I'll ever be a true minimalist (like someone who could live in one of those trendy "tiny houses" that you see on HGTV that is about 150 square feet and has a bath-tub that triples as a bed and washing machine).  However, I do think I want to be someone who doesn't need to own 38 sized-2 summer bottoms (shorts and skirts).  Yes, my daughter has at least 38 shorts/skirts available for her to wear this summer.  So, if summer is only 87 days, she would be able to wear each item 2.28 times.  That's ridiculous!  And again, this is my fault for allowing myself to accumulate that many items.  It is my full intent to downsize, but where to start? Which skirts and shorts to donate and which to keep? How much time do I spend downsizing, versus just keeping what I have (since it's already all put away neatly, folded "Marie Kondo Style") in my child's closet?  What toys do I keep and which to discard?  How many dish towels, plates and spatula's does the underachieving, rarely-hosts-a-dinner, mother of two really need?  This will have to be the topic of my next Blog- stay tuned!
~KLW :-)