The luxury of completion

I have a habit of starting things and not finishing them. I have always known this about myself but haven’t really given it much thought. I mean, I finish all of the important things, right? I graduated school (three times), I complete all my assessments and notes at work on-time, I follow through with planning a party if I commit to it, I eventually finish laundry, and so on.  But I am noticing lately that even though I eventually finish things, I often stop what I’m doing in the middle of a task to either take on a new task or address someone else’s need.  For example, if I am right in the middle of an typing an assessment at work or even in the middle of meeting with a client in my office, but my phone rings and it’s the receptionist wanting to talk to me, I almost always answer the phone and talk to her.  This seems to happen at home, too. Every time I am in the middle of a task at home, someone interrupts me without fail. And, I almost always stop what I’m doing and address their needs. For example, it seems like every time I am washing dishes or every time I have just sat down at the table to eat, one of the girls realizes that they are desperately Thursday and I need a drink immediately. Are used to give in and get a drink right away, but now I fear I have gone too far the other direction. Now, I get irritated and say things like “how many things can I do at one time?” (This is a phrase I use often, apparently, because they always answer the question in unison with a resounding- ONE!!!).  Maybe it is the combination of the stress at work and the stress of home that is making the situation get to me. So today, I reacted differently at work. I literally put a sign on the outside of my door that says “please do not disturb” - I use the sign in counseling sessions to notify coworkers that I am in the middle of a counseling session, but otherwise, I try to take it off my door and put it inside. But today, I didn’t do that. I’m so behind on notes and phone calls that I just wanted some time to get caught up on everything, without taking on any new tasks. So I have recognized this is my pattern. Even though I eventually finish tasks, I take on new tasks before I have started the first task, so my tasks tend to pile up and then I feel overwhelmed.  I begin to think of completion as a luxury. And I begin to convince myself that I don’t have the luxury of completion. I don’t have time to complete things all the way through. That’s for people who aren’t busy enough or important enough. People who are busy and important have to put things off to take on other things, because there’s always someone or something that needs their attention more. This is how I have felt anyway. But today, when I didn’t answer my phone and I watched it go to voicemail, I felt so empowered, yet slightly naughty at the same time.